What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
Posts Tagged ‘Jokes’
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I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was uncomfortable with the women’s type I had been playing with.
After turning for several minutes, a good looking gentleman working in the store approached me.
He asked if he could help me.
Without giving it a thought, I looked at him and said: "I think I like playing with men’s balls!"
Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in, sits down and asks him what the problem is.
"Well," said Eric, "I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I’m in deep trouble at home."
"What kind of question?" asked Tom.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."
"That’s easy," said Tom. "You just say ‘Of course I will’".
"Yeah," said Eric, "That’s what I did, except I said ‘Of course I DO…’"
In a morning Bible study, a group of women were studying how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husbands?"
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"
A few women answered today, some said yesterday, and some didn’t remember.
The women were then asked to take their phones and send the text message, "I love you, sweetheart."
After a few minutes, the women were asked to exchange phones and read aloud the responding text messages.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Who is this?
2. Uh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3. I love you too.
4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
5. I don’t understand what you mean.
6. What did you do now?
7. ?!!???
8. Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn’t she?
"A new study says that it actually takes men longer to shop on the internet then it does for them to shop in an actual store. Well of course! There’s no naked women at the stores."
New Boyfriend
The teenage girl brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.
He has a baseball cap on backwards, torn low-rider jeans and numerous
tattoos and body piercings.
The mother pulls her daughter aside. “Dear, you know your father and
I love you and we only want the best for you. This boy, he just
doesn’t seem very … nice.”
“Oh please, Mom! If he wasn’t nice, why would he be doing five
hundred hours of community service?”
Video: ha ha ha ha ha ha..
Posted: Wednesday, 12 June, 2013 in EntertainmentTags: Chuckles, Humour, Jokes
Video: Very Very Funny DOG.. ha ha ha..
Posted: Sunday, 9 June, 2013 in EntertainmentTags: Chuckles, Humour, Jokes
Very Very Funny DOG.. ha ha ha..
A married woman entered a
Pharmacy, walked to the
Pharmacist, looked straight into
his eyes and said, ‘I would like to
buy FAST HUMAN POISON’.
The Pharmacist asked, ‘why,
what… for? The lady replied, ‘I
need it to poison my husband’.
The Pharmacist shouted, ‘Lord
have mercy, it’s against the law!
It’s a sin.
‘Absolutely not’, shouted the lady.
She reached into her bag and
pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the
Pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the
picture and screamed, ‘Why didn’t
you tell me you had a
Prescription….
A man walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied, "I got shingles."
She said, "Fill out this form and supply your name, address, medical insurance number. When you’re done, please take a seat."
Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, "I got shingles."
So she took down his height, weight, and complete medical history, then said, "Change into this gown and wait in the examining room."
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, "I got shingles."
So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told him to wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles."
The doctor gave him a full-cavity examination, and then said, "I just checked you out thoroughly, and I can’t find shingles anywhere. " The man replied, "They’re outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"
Lucien's House 